discounts and savings.

If someone were to ask for a list of advice from me regarding love and relationships, my first thought would be "never underestimate your first heartbreak". I was caught in an idea, definitely not in love, and to this day i find myself momentarily tangled in old thoughts of you. You told me you loved me last night. And for the first time in my history with you, i was confident in the words that rolled of of your tongue. I know you love me, even if months linger between our conversations, and other relationships override our ability to lust among ideas of each other. We wake up in the same bed, but know little about the make up of the other. I don't doubt your ability to tell me a thing or two about myself. Maybe that i don't handle my liquor well, or that my bed head is something good to laugh at. I vented to an old friend today about you. Luckily she has insight to both of our worlds. She thinks it's real too, this "love thing". I hope she's right. She asked what i wanted out of all of these words and tipsy thoughts. To be honest, i didn't know at first. With a little digging on her end and honesty on mine, my thoughts finally started to reflect rhythm of my heart. I don't want you at this moment, in the same way you don't want me. Something we share is good, maybe even vital to the way i see myself. You took a piece of me, and with it stole some of my heart. But the only thing i want is your subconscious attention, your late night thoughts, and those three words you shared with me. In this moment i want your love, but maybe not all of it. Just enough to get me out of bed in the morning. And yes, i wish you were here. But i think we both know we are far too much alike to want anything tying us down, holding us back, taming our youth. Seeing myself in your life isn't easy. I know too damn well that your intentions with me are selfish, scenarios wrapped in secrecy and sprinkled with control. In some ways, my want for you is similar. The only difference is that you will forever be apart of my life. A memory, a moment, a milestone... one much more mine than yours. I'm sorry if i have this all wrong. And in some ways i'm sorry if i have it all right. I guess my biggest regret is not replying in a moment when you spoke, and for the first time ever held yourself in a position of vulnerability. I hope you know my nonexistent response meant more than any combination of words could. I love you, too.