la-la-la-lowlife.

i take back all the i love yous, all the midnight phone calls, and all of the days spent napping in your bed. i take back the dinners i made you, the inside jokes we have, and all of the gallons of gas i wasted. gas used, at $4.07 a gallon, only to get to the lowest, most incredibly self centered person i have ever loved.

im sorry for holding you back and for being something you didn't want.
as much as im sorry for you, i am a million times more sorry for myself. parts of my heart are now with you. i regret giving them up, because now these pieces of me have to sit in that cold place you refer to as your heart.
why did you lie and say i could always count on you?
why did you wait so long for me, because i was not yet ready?
why did you fake your love, and leave me in this confused place?
why did you become someone i am now embarrassed to have ever called mine?


i usually split my writing up. i talk about this and that, addressing two or three subjects in one piece of writing. but tonight, i find myself unable to think about anything more than the reality i face, one i didn't see myself facing so soon.

im in awe at your transformation, confused by this new view, and taken aback by the cruel words and ideas you have left for me to rake through.


i wonder if you feel like a winner, or if you even care. i wonder if you'll lie to cover up the shittiness you have created. i wonder if you'll care that i have moved on,
not emotionally, for the mending of my heart is beyond quick repair. more so mentally, because i know without you..i will be better off. i will be so much more than i have ever been before, because the presence of you only makes me small, insecure, and unimportant. are you proud of the impact you had on me?


angry people don't enhance the happiness of others. selfish people make situations worse for those in need. huge egos take up so much space, that room for conversation is minute.

im happy you showed your true colors.
you are a a true, worthless, piece of shit.