unexplained.

it was a great moment. i found the piece of duct tape connected to a sheet, one shoved way back in our linen closest. i laughed, an honest laugh, one carried by a truthful smile. and then everything just clicked.

how ironic. that's the only thought my mind can consume right now. i found the last piece of you, the last happy memory i carry, at the exact moment i had realized that this is okay. this is all so scary and new..but it's really okay. our thoughts of each other are quite different. im upset, disappointed, and not willing to forgive. but i also have found some type of peace. some piece. both of those.





upon a fresh canvas, you really have no limits. i have decided to only make slow, bold, and reassuring strokes before i get caught up in more complicated painting techniques.


you can say what you want about loving me, but in my heart it holds no importance. love isn't shown through the actions, words, or lies you have presented me with. you know, i am lost and weak. but im also finding my way and becoming a lot more than i thought i could be.


we had fun that night, i really hope you won't forget it. i felt like a little kid again, not caring about wasting yards and yards of duct tape. i was only concerned about being able to see the tv and making our fort "walls" stay up. i couldn't help but laugh when a corner fell, or the tape shook loose. you would immediately freak, because you worked so hard on it...that and because you're just the type who doesn't like any type of silly set back. i was eager to wake up the next morning. i was so anxious to give you your easter basket, and to get a kiss goodbye.
life felt good that weekend.


and now, duct tape holds more than just objects together.
it keeps pieces of me together too.