the price you pay.

our stages make me laugh, we are such a terrible pair. i find a smile in the fact we are so incompatible more than anything. you can make me laugh, and i can make you smile..but we are nowhere near that "puzzle fit" place. i wonder if we have ever been in love at the same time? you know, the way it is actually suppose to work. i fall head over heels winter and spring, but you seem to trip summer and fall.

it's not that we don't love each other. we just have our seasons of infatuations. again, this is alllll fine to me. you know how to love when i need you, and i know how to run with you when you want to escape.

i only get sad over one thing. and that's when you become stubborn about showing me how you feel. i beat myself up about how i could do better, even though i know this is just how you are. i guess it's a sad thought too, because i wouldn't let it fly with anyone else. im crossing my fingers this is only a stage, because i want the solid you back...the 'you' that wouldn't dare make me feel bad about myself. the 'you' that loved me from my crown to my pedicured toes.


on a happier note, i look forward to mini monkeys, jeeps, babies, and a big bed. oaklee and sam, do you remember?
while im here, i'll let it all out. because as far as im concerned, it is 1 am, and now officially monday. i live for new days.
i live for a lot, but lately i've noticed i live for everything but me. today that changes.


i hope that you don't think you have won or determined any medal when i say this. although it is true i may not hold the boldest fight here, i promise you won't find anyone willing to risk more.
im strong and independent, and i can guarantee a thought of regret in your mind if you don't listen to your heart.
treat others the way you want to be treated.

im getting there, i am. and it's such a good feeling.