psalm.

i hope you're not sad that i've given up on you. let me rephrase that..i hope you can understand why i have given up on you. so many doors slammed in my face, and i've become unwilling to knock anymore. you're my reflection and my peace keeper, or at least you were. im only giving up because i want you back. and this clearly isn't you.


if there is such thing as a "god", then why do such shitty things happen throughout the span of someones existence? why has it been necessary for me to feel pain, jealousy, confusion, and heartbreak? why can i aimlessly hope for a better tomorrow, and wind up in a dark state of mind after endless happy thoughts? im tired of saving myself. i hope this tiredness doesn't take over too much of me, because im afraid of letting go. im afraid of falling into the empty space so many people do fall into. i wish there was some higher power, but im smart enough to give up on that thought. smart enough not to rely on angel wings and lost prayers to catch me.

i get annoyed with the people who push things into my lap. give me a few solid facts and i'll listen, until then, keep your shit to yourself.


im willing to explore, be wrong, and stand up for myself in order to believe in something. i laugh at the situations that "change" peoples mindsets, because for me, these situations only make my assumptions on life a little more concrete. i love the thought of having a faith, but why can't i just have faith in myself? i'll blame my problems on me, congratulate my personal achievements, and smile over the small things in life that prove to me i am so incredibly alive, and free to take deep breaths.

i don't need an explanation as to why im here. i don't need a thick book of super thin paper to tell me how to think and what to pray to. i need simplicity, and a happy mind.

coffee, smiling people, and music.
and a sprinkle of faith.. but only in myself.