ribbons and bows.

i know it shouldn't be this way, but it certainly is. i've become twisted, stuck, and immobile. i keep having debates in my head; learn to be independent and happy, or stay confined in the sad, insecure place that you've been in. it should be an easy decision, right?

wrong. you ARE my happy. you ARE my sad.

i kind of like the whole, realistic and sad prospective on life. in some ways it provides a happy feeling too, just knowing im not caught up in an unreal thought. im obvious, blunt, and determined. im not lost where you would like me to be, in a place of non gravity, and idealism. im afraid because of you and this mind you have forced me to create, my heart is turning cold in some places. but im keeping my head above water, you can suck me into whatever deep sea you'd like, but i'll never sink deep enough to be unsuccessful. but stop continuously pulling me down, i don't like the thought of that.
i hate more the thought of you moving on, new places, slamming doors, and forgotten sundays.



i'll get to the place where i need to be, and then you'll be the one with cold spots. i know you'll regret this...and i will most likely love the idea of your new found fascination. i used to believe you were the witty type, maybe even one to catch on rather quickly. but, as i see you bathing in your moment of light, i now figure differently. enjoy your warmth now, because it's my turn to step out of the shade.


why can't we go back to last april? when the weather wasn't the shit it's been this year, and when your head was actually screwed onto your body. you're so high, it's making my stomach do back flips.

pull away, let go of him. that wasn't even me.